I've done a lot of stupid shit over the past month. Shit I never even thought would or could be an issue. But, it has. I haven't done the smartest things, I've pushed away the one person I don't want to push away. I've made him think if he wants to stay in this relationship or not.
This situation reminds me of when Chandler was trying to figure out how to propose to Monica on Friends. And shit gets carried away and Chandler feels like he's losing Monica to Richard.
I know this isn't Friends and our relationship isn't like Monica and Chandler's, but I feel the same way, that I have fucked this up so much I'm making him think if he wants to stay in this relationship.
My intentions have never been to hurt, which is why a lot of the time I do better when I keep my big mouth shut. If I write out, I tend to do better. I tend to not insert my foot into my mouth quite as much.
I'm sorry for the pain I have caused. I hope at some point, I hope I can be forgiven for the mistakes I have made.