The truth of the Bianco side

I know thinking like this is probably the worst thing in the world for me to do, but I can't stop.

My grandmother is 98 years old.

I think you can figure out where I'm going from here.

My parents went to Florida to visit her and the rest of my dad's siblings (not all of them live there, but everyone was there). I know my grandmother is having a hard time. She's forgetful, and it's been getting progressively worse. She's healthy as she can be, but she can't remember anything. Let alone her grandkids or what she went into the bathroom for.

It breaks my heart.

I am well aware she will not live forever. Although I wish she could. But, I have to think she's terribly sad. I would be. The love of her life, her partner in marriage for just shy of 73 years passed away almost 4 years ago. She's spent more of her life WITH someone than without. I would think her heart would be completely broken at this point. I'm actually surprised she hasn't gone sooner because of a broken heart.

She's such a strong woman. She's truly amazing. But, it hurts to think how tired she looks, how old she really is and how she's getting along.

I know she isn't going to be around forever. Let along much longer. I think it will be within this year. So does my mother. And she will tell me how it truly is.

I didn't get to go to my grandfather's funeral in June 2007. This one- when it happens- I will be in attendance. I have to be. There are 11 grandchildren, 4 of them are female. And of the 4, I think I am the most like her.

There are things I cherish. Our time together, obviously. More so in the past few years. The past few years I have had the opportunity to fly with her to Boston or from Boston to Wichita. Times where it was just the two of us. Times I will never forget. But, Jeff and John got to have her at their weddings. I won't. But, I... I got the trips. I got to bring her home. Home to Boston and home to Wichita. Taking her to Boston gave me the opportunity to see Boston in the fall, something I had never experienced. I got to bring her back to Wichita with Teresa, who got to experience flying with her. And how she took care of Nana as though she was her own grandmother.

She's also the one who took this picture in 2008.